Now that summer’s about here and I go outside with shorts on, I find myself thinking about tanning. People always suggest I get a tan or ask if I’m going to. And the thing is, I LOVE being pale. I don’t really like my legs—they need work—but being the color of paper? Hell yeah. And if I say this out loud, most people seem to think I’m just being a good sport and resigning to my fate as the crypt keeper. But I’m not. I love it. I wanna be like a goddamn vampire.
So my question is: is this asshole-y of me? Should I not say stuff like that?